Day one since my big decision to change up my emotional life.
I posted a little bit about what is going on for me on Friday. I've decided to make some changes in my life, had to remove the post... but I want to say thanks to Some Guy, Kirby, and Sans for your words of encouragement in the comments you left. You might not realize how much your comments helped me that day. I think that we, as humans, often fail to realize how much of a difference our words and actions of encouragement and love have on others. I deeply appreciate you, my friends.
So, on to the progress made on day one...
The biggest decision I have made is to stop drinking alcohol on a daily basis. This habit started harmlessly enough, but with each trauma and drama that has made its way into my life, I have increased my intake. Based on my discussion with a professional on Saturday, my intake is high (as I knew), not off the charts, but beyond a healthy range, and the trend hasn't been headed in the right direction. I can't say I'm off the sauce for good, just that my daily habits are going to change. I'll take it from there based on my level of success.
My greatest motivation has been Thing 3, my 13 year old son. Not only do I think he will benefit from seeing me do something that is healthy, I also hope to role model having the initiative to change oneself.
Thing 3 has loved video games since he could sit up in an infant seat (really!). He was given a broken controller by the older kids (both mine and our baby sitter's) when he whined about playing. Eventually he figured out that his controller wasn't plugged in, so they told him there was a secret plug in the back of the unit... and so it went. He eventually figured out how to play, and got really, really good at it. When he was a preschooler his motivation to read was because he hated waiting for someone to read him the messages from the game he was trying to beat. When he was three he would wake up in the morning and ask if he could go beat a level in his game before breakfast. I admired the goal setting at such an early age, but the signs were all there.
Thing 3 still loves the games. So much so that he, like me and my beer, has hit the not-so-great amount of enjoyment each day point. I've proposed that he either sign up for something - anything, like the swimming league, golf lessons, tennis league, or else I'll impose time restrictions, which will drive him crazy with boredom. He is not happy about this, but he is carefully considering his options and will choose in the next day or so. I was careful to propose this with respect and love, just as I would have wanted to approach me if someone were trying to motivate me to change. He has a choice - self-limiting by getting into some other activities, or imposed limiting. I prefer the former, I hope he does, also.
I'm excited about this because it helping me be motivated to change me. I want to role model changing myself for my son. I know it would be better if I was motivated to change me because I care enough about myself to do it for just for me... but at least this gets me going in the right direction, right?
This first day has not been that bad (going without my daily cocktails), however, I can't sleep at all. It's 3 a.m. and I'm blogging. It's good to be back to the blog and I'm remembering how much it helped me and why I used to do it. If you have stopped by, thanks for the visit! I appreciate you "listening".
